- LocationN48 - E11
- CountdownT-00D 00:00
This page has been empty for many years, simply because I didn't feel it was necessary to write something about me. After all, nothing of what I do with Apollo-NG is about me. It's only about you. I want you to learn more stuff and get relevant information as fast and concise as we can manage to supply it. And I want you to be creative, copy whatever you can, change it, reflect it, extend it and share it with the rest of the world again. Blazing fast progress and knowledge replication/multiplication emerging from the grassroots we are seeding today.
I'm not interested in using Apollo-NG or the projects we do to manipulate the way people perceive me in order to gain more social acceptance or “get more likes” to boost my ego. To be as honest as always, I really don't care about what people think of me. If you are unable to believe that this can be true I'd recommend reading books of M. Hoellebeq and C. Bukowski. I have left all of these fighting zones, indoctrinated into us from early childhood. I don't compete with anyone against anything anymore. I leave the fighting to those who have nothing better to do than to waste their lifetime in a futile attempt to conform to the hypocritical ruleset of these warzones (sexual/monetary/social).
I've lost what was the most dear to me, the only woman I was ever willing to call my wife and having kids and growing old together with the one human being that seems to love and crave me exactly because who I am and not although I am who I am. In words, this difference is minimal, in terms of emotions, it's indescribable to anyone who hasn't had the luck to find and love someone like that. She was the only thing in my life I could not let go, because I never wanted to let her go. The only solution to progress or at least get some peace of mind within this life was to let myself go. Disassociate. Completely. And while doing that, also letting go of this inhumane, over-socialized and made up “reality” and behavioral programming called society, which in the end has been ultimately responsible for her loss.
This might sound negative or sad but there is something else you can get in return after such a process: Freedom. At the point where you have lost everything that is important to you, including the continuation of your own biological existence through prolonged isolation and disassociation, you can do everything you want because even death has no longer the ability to instill fear in you. You are free. Free of any fear that can get hold of you and block your move. Free of consequence. Free of the implicit need to lie, pretend and fake.
However, I have always been supplied with an ample sense of responsibility and logic and when I combine both I cannot come to another conclusion but this:
Those of us, who have the ability to make a change, actually have the responsibility to do so.
The freedom I could obtain through my loss is not something for everyone, many people have families and parents they feel responsible for and connected to. They can't just start experimenting and ignoring the system because their life eventually forces them to compromise and comply at one point or another. One compromise leads to another and faster than you can look you're hooked so much into the structure of the system, that escape becomes improbable. Then you just have to take the blue pill and go back into the bliss of denial. So my quest became to follow and test this newly found freedom, after all, by compliance, work and paying taxes we're supporting groups that bring endless war to other regions of the world, claiming to “bring freedom” to these people, so let's see how far this freedom we're supposedly having and enforcing on others really goes.
However, those of us who were forced by their life to swallow the red pill and ran down the rabbit hole will forego this luxury and bliss. I live only to push this project further because I believe that everyone who has taken the red pill needs to spread and to connect to people who think alike and are also seeking change. Help us to help ourselves. Without experts, bullshit or manipulation. Just share freely whatever we manage to come up with even if crude and crappy, make it better and share it again.
Over the last 3 years I have been living on a food budget of about 3.50 EUR per day, as a result I lost 30kg of unneeded weight and eat much healthier and sustainable food than ever before. As a person I have almost no money to spend since almost all monetary resources I can obtain, through wasting more of my lifetime in a dayjob, goes directly into Apollo-NG. I've already invested more than 30k EUR into it and I will not stop doing so until my very last breath. This also marks the same time where I've started to consciously use open-source software only, to see how far we can get, if we would just have to abandon the commercial software sector if we had to for any reason.