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user:chrono [2015/01/27 10:27] chronouser:chrono [2015/01/27 10:30] chrono
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 I'm not interested in using Apollo-NG or the projects we do to manipulate the way people perceive me in order to gain more social acceptance or "get more likes" to boost my ego. To be as honest as always, I really don't care about what people think of me. If you are unable to believe that this can be true I'd recommend reading books of M. Hoellebeq and C. Bukowski. I have left all of these fighting zones, indoctrinated into us from early childhood. I don't compete with anyone against anything anymore. I leave the fighting to those who have nothing better to do than to waste their lifetime in a futile attempt to conform to the hypocritical ruleset of these warzones (sexual/monetary/social). I'm not interested in using Apollo-NG or the projects we do to manipulate the way people perceive me in order to gain more social acceptance or "get more likes" to boost my ego. To be as honest as always, I really don't care about what people think of me. If you are unable to believe that this can be true I'd recommend reading books of M. Hoellebeq and C. Bukowski. I have left all of these fighting zones, indoctrinated into us from early childhood. I don't compete with anyone against anything anymore. I leave the fighting to those who have nothing better to do than to waste their lifetime in a futile attempt to conform to the hypocritical ruleset of these warzones (sexual/monetary/social).
  
-I've lost what was the most dear to me, the only woman I was ever willing to call my wife and having kids and growing old together with the one human being that seems to love and crave me exactly **because** who I am and not **although** I am who I am. In words, this difference is minimal, in terms of emotions, it's indescribable to anyone who hasn't had the luck to find and love someone like that. She was the only thing in my life I could not let go, because I never wanted to let her go. The only solution to get at least some progress within this life was to let myself go. Disassociate. Completely. And while doing that, let go of this inhumane, over-socialized and made up "reality" and behavioral programming called society, which in the end has been ultimately responsible for her loss.+I've lost what was the most dear to me, the only woman I was ever willing to call my wife and having kids and growing old together with the one human being that seems to love and crave me exactly **because** who I am and not **although** I am who I am. In words, this difference is minimal, in terms of emotions, it's indescribable to anyone who hasn't had the luck to find and love someone like that. She was the only thing in my life I could not let go, because I never wanted to let her go. The only solution to progress or at least get some peace of mind within this life was to let myself go. Disassociate. Completely. And while doing that, also letting go of this inhumane, over-socialized and made up "reality" and behavioral programming called society, which in the end has been ultimately responsible for her loss.
  
 This might sound negative or sad but there is something else you can get in return after such a process: Freedom. At the point where you have lost everything that is important to you, including the continuation of your own biological existence, you can do everything you want because even death has no longer the ability to instill fear in you. You are free. Free of any fear. Free of consequence. Free of pretending and faking.  This might sound negative or sad but there is something else you can get in return after such a process: Freedom. At the point where you have lost everything that is important to you, including the continuation of your own biological existence, you can do everything you want because even death has no longer the ability to instill fear in you. You are free. Free of any fear. Free of consequence. Free of pretending and faking.